7 little habits that slowly rebuild your self-worth after years of people-pleasing

There’s a fine line between being accommodating and becoming a chronic people-pleaser.

The latter often results in compromised self-worth as we continually push our own needs and desires to the backburner.

Regaining self-respect after years of people-pleasing isn’t an overnight task. It’s a journey, one that requires developing new habits that foster self-appreciation and authenticity.

In this article, I’ll share with you seven simple habits that can help reconstruct your self-worth, allowing you to shine as the authentic, valued individual you truly are. These practices will not only help you stop living for others’ approval but also start embracing your unique potential and personal brand.

Let’s dive into these transformative habits and begin your journey toward a stronger, more confident you.

1) Start saying “no”

A chronic people-pleaser is often seen as someone who can never say “no”. While it’s great to be helpful and accommodating, it’s equally important to set boundaries for the sake of your own well-being.

You see, every time you say “yes” when you actually want to say “no”, you’re negating your own needs and desires. Over time, this can lead to a feeling of resentment, burnout, and a significant hit to your self-worth.

The first habit to cultivate is learning to say “no” without feeling guilty. It might seem scary at first, but remember that saying “no” doesn’t make you selfish or rude. It simply means that you value your time, energy, and well-being.

Start small, say “no” to minor requests that you usually oblige. Practice makes perfect, and with time, you’ll find it easier to stand up for yourself in bigger situations.

This habit not only respects your personal boundaries but also reinforces your unique personal brand – one that values authenticity and self-respect.

2) Celebrate your accomplishments

As a recovering people-pleaser myself, I found it difficult to acknowledge my own achievements. I was so busy trying to make others happy that I often overlooked my own accomplishments.

One day, after successfully completing a big project at work, instead of taking a moment to celebrate my achievement, I immediately jumped to the next task. It was then that a friend pointed out to me how I rarely acknowledged my own successes.

This was an eye-opener.

From that moment, I made it a habit to celebrate my accomplishments, no matter how small. Every time I finished a task or reached a goal, I took a moment to reflect and appreciate the hard work that went into it. It wasn’t about boasting or seeking validation from others but about recognizing my own worth and hard work.

I started keeping a ‘success journal’, where I noted down all my daily achievements. This simple practice helped me realize my potential and slowly rebuilt my self-esteem.

By celebrating your accomplishments, you affirm to yourself that you are capable and worthy. It’s a step towards embracing your personal brand and highlighting your unique abilities.

3) Practice self-care

Self-care is more than just bubble baths and spa days. It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental health. Did you know that the World Health Organization officially recognized burnout as a medical condition in 2019? This primarily results from chronic workplace stress that hasn’t been successfully managed.

People-pleasers often neglect self-care because they’re too busy trying to meet everyone else’s needs. But remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t just important, it’s essential for your overall well-being.

Incorporate self-care activities into your daily routine – it could be as simple as going for a walk, reading a book, meditating, or even taking a nap. Find what works for you and make it a non-negotiable part of your day.

Practicing self-care not only improves your well-being but also boosts your self-worth by reinforcing the idea that you are important and deserving of care.

4) Surround yourself with positive influences

The people you spend time with have a significant impact on your self-worth. If you’re constantly around people who take advantage of your people-pleasing nature, it’s likely to have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem.

To rebuild your self-worth, make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive influences – people who respect your boundaries, appreciate your worth, and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

This doesn’t mean you have to cut ties with everyone else. It simply means choosing to spend more time with those who uplift you and less time with those who bring you down.

Remember, just as a brand is influenced by the company it keeps, so are you. Surrounding yourself with positive influences will help reinforce your self-worth and authenticity.

5) Embrace imperfections

For a long time, I was under the delusion of perfectionism. I believed that to be liked and accepted, I had to be ‘perfect’. This idea led me down the path of people-pleasing, constantly striving to meet everyone’s expectations.

However, over time, I realized that perfection is not only unattainable but also a major roadblock to self-worth. The constant pursuit of perfection left me feeling inadequate and dissatisfied.

So, I decided to embrace my imperfections. Instead of seeing them as flaws, I started viewing them as unique aspects of my identity. This shift in perspective helped me let go of the need to please everyone and started accepting myself for who I am – imperfections and all.

Embracing your imperfections not only boosts your self-worth but also helps you develop an authentic personal brand. After all, it’s our quirks and flaws that make us unique and relatable.

6) Set personal goals

Setting personal goals is a powerful way to build your self-worth. Goals give you a sense of purpose and direction. They enable you to measure progress, overcome challenges, and achieve success on your own terms.

However, it’s important to ensure these goals are truly yours and not influenced by what others think you should aspire to. Your goals should align with your values, interests, and dreams.

Whether it’s learning a new skill, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, or advancing in your career, setting and pursuing personal goals can make you feel empowered and boost your self-esteem.

Remember, just like a brand has its objectives and targets, so should you. Having personal goals not only enhances your self-worth but also enriches your personal brand by highlighting your determination and ambition.

7) Cultivate self-compassion

At the heart of rebuilding your self-worth is self-compassion. It’s about being kind to yourself, acknowledging your feelings, and accepting that you, like everyone else, are human and bound to make mistakes.

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. It’s about recognizing that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes, and it’s perfectly fine to put your needs first.

Cultivating self-compassion can dramatically improve your self-worth, as it encourages a healthy relationship with yourself – one that is based on kindness, acceptance, and love.

Remember, your worth is not determined by others’ opinions of you, but by how you view yourself. Treat yourself with compassion, and watch your self-worth soar.

Final thoughts: It’s a journey

The process of rebuilding self-worth after years of people-pleasing is a transformative journey, not a quick fix.

Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is self-worth. It’s about making small changes every day and acknowledging that progress is progress, no matter how small.

Each of the habits discussed in this article is a step towards reclaiming your self-worth. They’re about embracing authenticity, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and above all, treating yourself with kindness and compassion.

So, take a moment to reflect on these words and start your journey towards rebuilding your self-worth today. After all, you are worth it.