7 phrases manipulative people use to undermine your confidence and make you feel small

Do you ever notice how sometimes, after certain conversations, you feel a little smaller? Not in the physical sense, of course, but emotionally.

It’s like something’s been subtly chipped away from your self-assurance, leaving you questioning your own worth.

Well, here’s the thing.

Some people have a knack for this – they use phrases that are specifically designed to undermine your confidence. And they do it so casually, you might not even realize the manipulation at work.

In our day-to-day interactions, we’re bound to bump into a few of these confidence underminers. They could be anywhere – in our workplaces, our social circles, or even amongst our closest connections.

So, if you’ve found yourself wondering, “Why do I feel so small after talking to that person?” then stick around. We’re about to delve into the seven phrases manipulative people use to make you feel exactly that way.

Remember, being aware of these tactics is the first step in reinforcing your self-esteem and maintaining an authentic personal brand that truly reflects your potential.

After all, no one should have the power to make you feel less than you are.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

Let’s begin with this one.

Have you ever expressed your feelings, only to be met with “You’re too sensitive”? This phrase is a classic tactic used by manipulative individuals.

Here’s how it works.

When you react to their inappropriate behavior or comments, they flip the script, making it seem like the issue lies with your sensitivity, not their actions.

It’s a clever way of deflecting blame and making you second-guess your feelings.

But remember this.

Your emotions are valid. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Just because someone finds it inconvenient when you express your feelings doesn’t mean you’re overreacting.

Stand firm in your truth because maintaining emotional authenticity is crucial to a strong personal brand.

2) “I was just joking”

Now, this one hits close to home for me.

A few years back, I had a coworker who would constantly make digs at my work during team meetings. When I finally summoned the courage to confront them, their defense was always “I was just joking”.

Here’s what I learned.

This phrase is often used as a disguise for derogatory comments. By framing their hurtful words as humor, they not only belittle you but also create a situation where you’re perceived as lacking a sense of humor if you take offense.

What I realized is that humor should never be at the expense of someone’s confidence or self-esteem. If someone uses this phrase regularly after making you feel small, it’s a clear red flag of manipulative behavior.

Don’t let such ‘jokes’ undermine your self-worth or dent your personal brand. You have every right to voice your discomfort when ‘humor’ crosses the line into disrespect.

3) “You wouldn’t understand”

This phrase. It’s a sneaky one.

“You wouldn’t understand” — a simple statement, yet it’s packed with an unspoken yet potent message. It implies that you’re not capable or intelligent enough to grasp whatever is being discussed.

Here’s what’s really happening.

By using this phrase, the manipulator subtly places themselves on a higher intellectual plane, creating an imbalance in your relationship dynamic. It’s a way of asserting superiority and undermining your self-confidence.

But let’s get real.

Just because someone assumes you won’t comprehend something doesn’t mean they’re right. This phrase is more about the manipulator’s need to feel superior than your actual understanding.

So, next time you hear “You wouldn’t understand”, remember it’s not a reflection of your intelligence or capability. You’re smarter and stronger than they give you credit for.

And that’s something to be proud of.

4) “If I were you…”

We’ve all heard this one before.

“If I were you…” usually followed by unsolicited advice or a judgmental comment about your decisions. It’s a phrase that manipulators often use to subtly control your actions or undermine your decision-making skills.

Here’s the kicker.

This phrase is not about helpful guidance; it’s about imposing their views onto you under the guise of well-meaning advice.

It’s a way for them to make you feel like your choices are not good enough, causing you to question your own judgment.

But trust me on this.

Your decisions are yours to make, and they are based on your experiences, values, and circumstances – things that another person can’t fully understand.

You’re the expert on your life, not them. So, the next time someone starts a sentence with “If I were you…”, remember that they aren’t, and their perspective doesn’t define what’s right for you.

5) “Everyone else thinks so too”

Let’s talk about this phrase.

“Everyone else thinks so too.” It’s manipulative, and it taps into one of our fundamental human fears – the fear of social rejection.

When someone tells you that your opinion or action is contrary to what ‘everyone else’ believes, it can make you feel isolated.

Here’s something you might not know.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people are more likely to conform to a group’s opinion when they believe they are the sole dissenters.

Manipulative individuals use this knowledge to their advantage, employing phrases like “everyone else thinks so too” to make you question your beliefs.

But here’s the truth.

‘Everyone else’ rarely thinks the exact same thing, and even if they did, it doesn’t invalidate your perspective. Your thoughts and opinions hold value, even if they’re different from the majority.

Remember, diversity of thought is not only healthy but also essential for growth and innovation. Your unique viewpoint contributes to your authentic personal brand.

Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

6) “You always…” or “You never…”

These phrases can be a tough pill to swallow.

“You always…” or “You never…” are often used by manipulative people to highlight your perceived flaws or mistakes.

They’re absolute statements that leave no room for discussion, and they can make you feel like you’re constantly doing something wrong.

However, let’s remember this.

Nobody is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and we all make mistakes. That’s what makes us human.

These phrases are less about your actual behavior and more about the manipulator’s attempt to control you by damaging your self-esteem.

So, next time you hear “You always…” or “You never…”, take a deep breath, remind yourself of your worth, and don’t let these absolute statements shake your confidence.

You are more than the sum of your mistakes or shortcomings. You’re someone who’s constantly learning and growing, and that’s something to be proud of.

7) “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”

This is a big one.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but…” is a phrase manipulative people use as a sort of ‘get out of jail free’ card. It’s like they believe that prefacing a hurtful comment with this statement magically absolves them of any rudeness.

Here’s what you should remember.

This phrase doesn’t make the subsequent comment any less hurtful or offensive. It’s simply a manipulative tactic used to disguise disrespect as honesty.

You have the right to demand respect in your interactions, and anyone who uses this phrase to belittle you is not adhering to that standard.

So, stand your ground. Don’t allow this thinly veiled disrespect to pass unchallenged. Your self-respect and confidence are worth more than their empty justifications for rudeness.

Embracing your true self

If you recognize these phrases in your interactions, it’s crucial to understand this – it’s not about you. The manipulative tactics of others reflect their insecurities and fears, not your worth.

Here’s the encouraging part – awareness is a powerful catalyst for change.

Once you’re aware of these undermining tactics, you can consciously choose not to let them affect your self-esteem. It’s about setting boundaries, standing your ground, and giving yourself the respect you deserve.

Let’s start with this.

Recognize when these phrases are used to belittle you. Notice how they make you feel. Pay close attention when your interactions leave you questioning your value.

Now ask yourself – does this align with my self-perception? Does this interaction empower me or diminish me? Is this reflective of the true me?

Remember, change isn’t instantaneous.

But with persistence and self-compassion, you can dismantle these undermining influences. Each time you affirm your worth and reject these manipulative phrases, you build resilience and self-confidence.

In the end, when we honor our true selves and cultivate our inner strength, we become impervious to such attempts to make us feel small.

Embrace this journey of self-discovery with kindness and patience.

You’re stronger than you think, and nobody has the power to make you feel small without your consent. Hold on to that truth as you navigate through your interactions.

And in doing so, may you discover an authentic self that stands tall in its worth, unshaken by the manipulative tactics of others.