7 signs you’re slowly becoming the parent you swore you’d never be

Let’s be honest. All of us, at some point or another, have sworn that we would never turn into our parents.

But as we navigate this rollercoaster called parenthood, we might notice ourselves slowly mirroring their behaviors – the same ones we vowed to avoid.

It’s a transition that can creep up on you, almost unnoticed. One day, you’re a carefree individual with your own unique style of living.

Next thing you know, you’re echoing phrases your parents used, following their methods and maybe even adopting their quirks.

But are these just harmless coincidences or are they signs that you’re slowly morphing into the parent you swore you’d never be?

In this article, we’ll explore seven signs that might confirm your suspicion.

But remember, it’s not about blame or guilt. It’s about understanding our patterns, acknowledging them, and deciding whether we want to embrace them or chart our own course.

Because after all, being true to ourselves – in parenthood and beyond – is the most authentic personal brand we can cultivate. Let’s dive in.

1) You’ve started using “Because I said so”

At some point in our childhood, we all swore that we would never pull out the infamous “because I said so” card.

We promised ourselves that we would always explain our decisions to our kids, giving them a logical and reasonable answer.

But here we are, years later, and what escapes your lips when you’re too exhausted to explain why ice cream isn’t a suitable breakfast? Yup, you guessed it – “Because I said so.”

This sign is a classic one. It’s almost like a rite of passage into parenthood, as we find ourselves borrowing that phrase from our own parents’ playbook.

While it’s not harmful per se, it does indicate a shift towards their parenting style.

Remember, it’s not about feeling guilty but about recognizing these moments. If this phrase doesn’t align with the kind of parent you want to be, then it’s a nudge to revisit your communication strategies.

As we know, in parenting and in life, authenticity is key.

2) You’re mirroring your parent’s discipline style

Growing up, I distinctly remember my father’s approach to discipline. It was the classic “wait till your father gets home” style, where he would step in to handle the big issues.

And as a child, I told myself I would be different. I’d be more of a friend than an authority figure.

But last week, when my eldest son was refusing to do his homework, I found myself saying those exact words: “Wait till your father gets home!” It was a surreal moment, like I was hearing my own father speak through me.

This realization hit me hard – I had unconsciously adopted my father’s disciplinary style.

It made me stop and reflect: Is this the kind of parent I want to be? Is this approach authentic to who I am, or am I simply repeating what was done to me?

Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards conscious parenting. It’s about choosing the aspects you want to carry forward and letting go of the ones that don’t serve you or your child.

After all, parenting – like personal branding – is about authenticity and alignment with our core values.

3) You’re enforcing the clean plate rule

Did you grow up in a home where meals couldn’t end until every last morsel on your plate was eaten? This “clean plate” rule, a wartime relic aimed at preventing food waste, has been passed down through generations.

Despite its good intentions, this approach can inadvertently teach kids to ignore their body’s signals for fullness and overeat. Today, child nutrition experts recommend allowing children to decide when they’ve had enough to eat.

If you’re finding yourself enforcing the clean plate rule, it could be a sign that you’re unknowingly adopting your parents’ habits.

As with any habit, it’s about recognizing it and deciding if it aligns with your parenting style and values.

In the realm of parenting and personal growth, it’s always beneficial to question outdated norms and make conscious choices that reflect your authentic self.

4) You’re using phrases like “When I was your age…”

We’ve all heard it and we’ve all cringed at it – the classic “When I was your age…” line. We promised ourselves we’d never use it, yet somehow, it seems to have wormed its way into our vocabulary.

It’s as if becoming a parent activates a dormant gene that compels us to start comparing our childhoods with our kids’ lives. It’s not necessarily bad, but it’s a surefire sign that we’re slowly morphing into our parents.

Remember, the goal isn’t to beat ourselves up over these moments. It’s about recognizing them, laughing at them and then deciding if these are the kind of patterns we want to perpetuate.

After all, true growth – whether in parenting or personal branding – comes from self-awareness and making conscious choices that align with our authentic selves.

5) You’re losing patience over small things

Last Sunday, my daughter spilled juice all over the new rug.

A few years ago, I would have shrugged it off as an accident, but this time, I lost my cool. I could hear my mother’s voice coming out of my mouth as I reprimanded her for being careless.

It was a wake-up call for me. Was I becoming the parent who gets upset over minor mishaps? Was this the kind of environment I wanted for my child?

These moments of losing patience over small things are a clear sign that we’re adopting some of our parents’ reactions. It’s crucial to recognize these instances and take a step back.

In our journey of personal growth and parenting, we need to remember that we have the power to choose our responses.

We can decide whether to react in anger or to respond with understanding. This choice is what shapes our authentic selves and influences the environment we cultivate for our children.

6) You’re setting the same boundaries

Remember how you used to roll your eyes at your parents’ curfews and rules? How you swore you’d be more relaxed with your own kids? But here you are, setting the same strict bedtimes and limitations on screen time.

Boundaries are essential in parenting, but if you’re enforcing the same rules that you once rebelled against, it’s worth taking a moment to reflect.

Are these restrictions based on what’s best for your child, or are they simply a result of repeating what was done to you?

As we navigate parenting, it’s essential to question the boundaries we set. It’s all part of being self-aware and aligning our actions with our values – the foundation of our personal brand.

Remember, it’s not about blindly following our parents’ footsteps, but about consciously creating a parenting style that reflects our authentic selves.

7) You’re prioritizing your child’s happiness over their growth

We all want our children to be happy. But if you’re constantly stepping in to solve their problems, shielding them from any discomfort or failure, you might be replicating your parents’ style of overprotective parenting.

It’s essential to remember that growth often comes from facing challenges and learning to overcome them.

As parents, our role isn’t to remove every obstacle but to equip our children with the skills and resilience they need to navigate life’s ups and downs.

In our quest for authenticity – in parenting and personal branding – it’s about balancing love with letting go, nurturing with nudging. It’s about preparing our kids for the road, not preparing the road for our kids.

Final reflections: It could be generational

The mystery of human behavior and our choices as parents can often be traced back to generational patterns.

Whether it’s the habit of serving a clean plate, enforcing strict boundaries, or losing patience over small things, we might be unknowingly following a script written years ago by our ancestors.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards breaking free from these scripts.

It’s about acknowledging these patterns, reflecting on their origin, and consciously deciding if they align with the kind of parent we want to be.

In the journey of parenting and personal growth, it’s not about erasing our past but about learning from it. It’s about creating our own script – a narrative that is authentic to who we are and what we stand for.

As we navigate this journey, let’s remember that the most powerful influence we have on our children is not what we say but who we become.