7 things people with high emotional intelligence never do in arguments

It’s in the thick of an argument where true emotional intelligence shines.

Those with high emotional intelligence handle disagreements differently, steering clear of certain actions that can escalate tension and harm relationships.

In this piece, I’m going to uncover seven things that emotionally intelligent people avoid doing during disputes.

Let me tell you: It’s not about winning or losing an argument, but how you navigate through it.

Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, understanding and practicing these approaches can help you maintain your composure, preserve relationships, and even enhance your personal brand.

After all, the way we handle conflict says a lot about who we are:

1) They don’t take things personally

One of the key attributes of those with high emotional intelligence is their ability to separate the person from the problem.

In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to let emotions run wild and take things personally.

However, emotionally intelligent people understand that disagreements are about ideas, not individuals.

They don’t internalize every critique or opposing viewpoint as an attack on their character.

Instead, they see it as an opportunity to gain a new perspective or to improve.

This doesn’t mean they are immune to feeling hurt or upset but they are adept at managing their emotions and maintaining a level-headedness that prevents them from lashing out or responding impulsively.

Remember, it’s not about winning an argument.

It’s about fostering understanding and finding a resolution and you can’t do that if you’re too busy defending your ego.

Take a leaf from the emotionally intelligent book: Don’t take things personally during disagreements.

2) They never ignore the other person’s feelings

Being someone who’s always valued emotional intelligence, I’ve learned that acknowledging the other person’s feelings is crucial in any argument.

I remember a time when I had a disagreement with a colleague about a project.

We both had different ideas about how to approach it and were adamant that our way was the best.

In the heat of the moment, I could see that my colleague was getting frustrated.

Instead of dismissing her feelings or getting defensive, I paused and acknowledged her perspective.

I said something like, “I can see why you feel strongly about this approach. It has some good points.”

Doing this didn’t mean I agreed with her entirely, but it conveyed that I was listening and respected her opinion.

It helped de-escalate the tension and opened up a more constructive conversation.

Ignoring feelings can lead to resentment and further conflict.

However, by acknowledging them, we show empathy and understanding—qualities at the heart of emotional intelligence.

3) They don’t interrupt or talk over others

People with high emotional intelligence understand the importance of active listening in an argument.

They know that interrupting or talking over someone not only shows disrespect but also hinders effective communication.

Listening is more than just being quiet when the other person is talking as it’s about giving them space to express their thoughts and feelings without interruption—showing genuine interest in what they have to say and understanding their point of view.

By refraining from interrupting, emotionally intelligent individuals show they value the other person’s input and are open to finding a resolution.

The next time you find yourself in a disagreement, be mindful of giving the other person their turn to speak.

4) They never resort to personal attacks

Regardless of how heated an argument gets, people with high emotional intelligence steer clear of personal attacks.

They understand that resorting to insults or derogatory comments only escalates the situation and damages relationships.

Instead, they focus on the issue at hand.

They articulate their thoughts and feelings without demeaning the other person; they treat others with respect, even when they disagree.

Emotionally intelligent people know that everyone has a right to their opinion and that differing views can coexist without resorting to hostility.

Even in the midst of a disagreement, they maintain their composure and stay respectful.

5) They don’t let pride get in the way of resolution

I’m no stranger to the pull of pride during an argument.

There was a time when I found it difficult to admit when I was wrong.

I would stick to my guns, even when evidence pointed otherwise.

It was more about defending my ego than seeking the truth or a resolution.

Over time, however, I realized that this approach was causing more harm than good.

It was straining relationships and preventing me from learning and growing.

People with high emotional intelligence understand that being wrong isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a part of being human.

They’re not afraid to admit their mistakes or change their stance when presented with new information.

These people prioritize resolving the issue over preserving their pride because they know that admitting they’re wrong can actually strengthen their relationships and personal brand, showing their maturity and willingness to learn.

6) They don’t avoid the issue

While it might be tempting to sweep a disagreement under the rug, people with high emotional intelligence don’t shy away from addressing the problem.

They understand that avoiding the issue only leads to resentment and further misunderstandings.

Instead, they face the disagreement head-on.

They engage in open and honest communication, expressing their thoughts and feelings clearly.

They ask questions to understand the other person’s perspective and work towards a mutual resolution.

By addressing the issue directly, they prevent it from escalating and damaging their relationships.

Avoidance isn’t a solution; clear and respectful communication is.

7) They never forget the value of compromise

In any disagreement, compromise is key.

Those with high emotional intelligence recognize that it’s not about who’s right or wrong, but about finding a solution that satisfies both parties.

They’re willing to give a little to get a little, understanding that successful relationships often require flexibility and mutual respect.

By embracing compromise, they find common ground and turn disagreements into opportunities for growth and understanding.

Ultimately, it’s about growth

Emotional intelligence isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a skill, one that can be honed and developed over time.

Through understanding and managing our emotions, we can navigate disagreements in a healthier manner.

It’s not just about winning an argument, but about fostering understanding, maintaining relationships, and personal growth.

Remember, disagreements are an integral part of life.

They offer opportunities for us to learn more about ourselves and others—it’s how we handle these disagreements that truly defines our emotional intelligence.

Those with high emotional intelligence seize these opportunities, turning disputes into bridges for better understanding and stronger relationships.