7 ways people accidentally age themselves in conversations without realizing it

There’s a subtle art to conversation that many of us overlook. Sometimes, without realizing it, the words we use can age us, making us seem out of touch or outdated.

We may not realize that certain phrases, topics, or conversational styles are subtly adding years to our perceived age. It’s not about being deceptive or pretending to be someone you’re not.

Rather, it’s about being aware of how our language can shape people’s perception of us.

In this article, I’m going to share seven ways that people unwittingly age themselves during conversations.

These are not just simple faux pas. They are conversational habits that can affect how others perceive your relevance and adaptability.

Remember, a crucial aspect of personal growth is self-awareness. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards a more dynamic and timeless conversational style. Let’s dive in!

1) Over-reliance on past experiences

One of the quickest ways we can age ourselves in conversations is through an over-reliance on past experiences.

It’s natural to draw from our personal history when engaging in discussions. After all, our experiences shape our perspective and understanding of the world. But there’s a delicate balance to be found here.

If we’re constantly referring back to ‘the good old days,’ or comparing current situations with how things ‘used to be,’ it can give off the impression that we’re stuck in the past. It suggests a resistance to change and a struggle to stay up-to-date.

This doesn’t mean you should avoid sharing your past experiences entirely. They are part of your unique story and can often provide valuable insights.

However, it’s important to also demonstrate interest and knowledge about current trends, events, and ideas. This shows you’re actively engaged with the world as it is now, not just as it was.

Stay true to your experiences while also showing that you’re open to the new and evolving. This helps in maintaining a timeless conversational style.

2) Using outdated slang

Language is ever-evolving, and slang terms are often the first to change. Using outdated slang is another way we can inadvertently age ourselves in conversations.

I remember a conversation I had with my nephew a while back. Eager to impress him with my ‘hip’ language, I used the term ‘groovy’ to describe a song we were listening to. His reaction? He burst out laughing.

He kindly informed me that ‘groovy’ was not in the current vernacular and suggested ‘lit’ or ‘fire’ as more appropriate choices. It was a harmless and amusing interaction, but it certainly highlighted the generational gap in our language use.

Using outdated slang not only ages us but can also create a disconnect with our audience, especially if they belong to a younger demographic.

While it’s not necessary to adopt every new phrase that emerges, staying updated with current language trends can help us connect better with diverse age groups.

3) Neglecting technology references

Our digital age has brought a whole new set of terminology into our everyday conversations. From ‘selfies’ to ‘streaming,’ technology has significantly influenced our language.

However, if you’re neglecting these technology references, it could give the impression that you’re not keeping up with the times. Conversations about the latest apps, social media trends, or gadgets are commonplace today and form a significant part of contemporary discourse.

Did you know that over 3.8 billion people use social media worldwide? That’s almost half of the global population! So discussions around these platforms are bound to pop up in conversations frequently.

Being comfortable with tech-talk isn’t just about sounding modern. It also shows your ability to adapt and your awareness of the digital world, essential traits in today’s interconnected society.

This doesn’t mean you have to become a tech guru overnight. But understanding basic tech terms and trends can go a long way in maintaining a current and adaptable conversational style.

4) Constantly pointing out generational gaps

We all know that there are inherent differences between generations. Each generation has its unique characteristics, challenges, and experiences. However, constantly pointing out these generational gaps can inadvertently age us in conversations.

Statements like “In my generation, we didn’t do it like that” or “Your generation has it so easy” tend to create unnecessary divisions in conversations.

They can make us seem out of touch, unable to understand or appreciate the nuances of different generations.

Instead of emphasizing the differences, focus on finding common ground. Engage in discussions that bridge the generational gap. This way, you can maintain a timeless conversational style and build stronger connections with people across all age groups.

By demonstrating an understanding and respect for all generations, you show that your perspective is not limited by age, but enriched by it.

5) Ignoring popular culture

Popular culture is a significant part of our social fabric. It shapes our conversations, influences our perspectives, and often serves as a common ground for different age groups. So, ignoring pop culture references can unintentionally age us in conversations.

I’ll admit, I didn’t always see the value in keeping up with pop culture. I thought it was all fleeting trends and frivolous entertainment.

But then, a colleague invited me to a trivia night. I found myself at a loss for most of the questions, which were centered around current movies, music, and television shows.

That experience was a wake-up call. I realized that being familiar with popular culture is not just about knowing the latest trends. It’s about understanding the cultural zeitgeist of our time. It helps us connect with others, regardless of their age.

You don’t have to become a pop culture expert or binge-watch every trending series. But having a basic knowledge of popular movies, music, books, or events can help keep your conversational style current and relatable.

6) Sticking to formal language

Language is a powerful tool that can shape our image. While formal language has its place in professional settings, sticking to it in all conversations can age us.

When we only use formal language, it can create a sense of distance and rigidity. It might make people feel like they’re interacting with an authority figure rather than a peer.

This could make us seem older than we are, or out of touch with more casual, modern conversational styles.

On the other hand, using a more relaxed, conversational style of speech can create a sense of approachability and relatability. It shows that we’re flexible and adaptable in our communication.

Being aware of our language use and adjusting it based on the situation is a crucial aspect of effective communication.

7) Resistance to learning new things

The most significant factor that can age us in conversations is a resistance to learning new things. When we close ourselves off to new ideas, trends, or perspectives, it can make us seem set in our ways or disconnected from the present.

Staying open to learning is not just about keeping up with the latest trends. It’s about demonstrating a genuine curiosity about the world around us.

It shows that we’re adaptable, engaged, and continually growing, all of which are key components of an authentic and influential personal brand.

So, embrace lifelong learning. Ask questions, seek out new experiences, and remain curious. It’s the best way to keep your conversational style fresh, engaging, and timeless.

Final reflection: It’s all about connection

Engaging in conversation is more than just an exchange of words. It’s a way of connecting with others, understanding different perspectives, and building relationships.

The ways we age ourselves in conversations can subtly influence these connections. They can create gaps, make us seem out of touch, or even hinder our ability to build strong relationships.

But the beauty of it all is that we have the power to change this. By being aware of these conversational habits and taking steps to adjust them, we can maintain a timeless, adaptable, and engaging conversational style.

As renowned motivational speaker and author Brian Tracy once said, “Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.”

Let’s continue learning, adapting, and growing. Let’s strive to not only keep our conversations fresh and relevant but also to strengthen the connections we make through them.

Because at the end of the day, it’s these connections that truly enrich our lives.