7 ways emotionally intelligent people deal with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people is something we all have to manage in our lives. Whether it’s a tricky colleague at work, a demanding relative, or an irritable neighbor, it can be a real test of our emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing our own emotions and those of others. It’s the key to navigating tricky interpersonal situations without losing our cool.

In this piece, I’m going to share with you 7 ways that emotionally intelligent people handle difficult individuals.

These strategies aren’t just about keeping the peace—they’re about using these interactions as opportunities for personal growth and self-awareness.

Treating everyone with respect and understanding—even those who are challenging to deal with—is a surefire way to build a personal brand that truly reflects your best self. So let’s get started.

1) They don’t take things personally

We all know that difficult people can be hard to handle, often because they have a knack for saying or doing things that can get under our skin.

But here’s the thing: Emotionally intelligent people understand that these individuals are often acting out of their own insecurities, frustrations, or unmet needs. It’s not really about you.

So when faced with a difficult person, the emotionally intelligent don’t take it personally. Instead, they see the situation for what it is: another person’s struggle, not a reflection of their own worth.

This is an important perspective that can help you remain calm and composed, even when someone else is being unreasonable or unkind. It also allows you to respond rather than react, giving you better control over the situation.

So next time you encounter a difficult person, try not to take it personally. It’s a testament to your emotional intelligence and a way to shine even brighter.

2) They practice empathy

Practicing empathy is one of the most effective strategies I’ve found when dealing with difficult people. With this approach, I make an effort to step into the other person’s shoes and see things from their perspective.

Let me share a personal example. I once had a coworker who was always negative and critical. It was easy to label him as a “difficult person” and get frustrated with his behavior.

But instead of reacting, I decided to practice empathy. I spent time trying to understand why he acted this way. Was he unhappy in his role? Was there something in his personal life affecting his attitude?

One day, I asked him how he was doing and showed genuine interest in his response. His demeanor changed almost instantly. He opened up about struggles at home that were impacting his mood at work.

Seeing his situation from his perspective helped me deal with him in a more understanding and compassionate way. It didn’t change the fact that he was often difficult, but it did change how I reacted to him.

By practicing empathy, we can navigate difficult relationships more effectively, and ultimately, create a personal brand that exudes understanding and compassion.

3) They set clear boundaries

Emotionally intelligent people know the importance of setting clear boundaries. Boundaries are like invisible lines that we draw around ourselves to protect our time, energy, and emotional well-being.

According to research from the University of California, Santa Barbara, establishing healthy boundaries can lead to increased productivity and improved mental health.

So, when dealing with difficult people, emotionally intelligent individuals make sure to establish what is acceptable behavior and what is not. They communicate these boundaries in a respectful yet firm manner.

If someone continually crosses these boundaries, they take appropriate action which could mean distancing themselves from the person or having a serious conversation about respect and understanding.

Setting clear boundaries is not only about self-preservation but also about creating a respectful and harmonious environment for everyone involved.

4) They choose their battles wisely

Not every disagreement or issue is worth getting worked up over. Emotionally intelligent people understand this and are adept at choosing their battles wisely.

They know that getting caught up in every single argument or issue can be draining and counterproductive. Instead, they assess the situation and decide whether it’s worth their time and energy.

If it’s a minor issue, they might choose to let it go. If it’s something important that needs to be addressed, they will stand their ground and address the issue in a respectful and assertive manner.

By choosing their battles wisely, emotionally intelligent people maintain their peace of mind and avoid unnecessary conflict. It’s about knowing when to engage and when to step back— a skill that’s central to managing difficult people effectively.

5) They practice active listening

Active listening is a skill that I’ve found incredibly useful when dealing with difficult people. It’s about truly hearing what the other person is saying, instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.

I’ve often found myself in heated situations where emotions are running high. In these moments, it’s easy to get defensive and start formulating a response in my head while the other person is still talking.

But I’ve learned that this approach rarely leads to a productive outcome. So, I’ve made a conscious effort to practice active listening. I focus on understanding the other person’s point of view, even if I don’t agree with it.

This doesn’t mean that I let myself be walked over. Rather, by showing the other person that I value their perspective, I’m often able to diffuse tension and pave the way for a more constructive conversation.

Active listening is not just about better communication—it’s also about showing respect and fostering mutual understanding. And these are qualities that can only enhance your personal brand.

6) They maintain a positive attitude

Maintaining a positive attitude is not about ignoring problems or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about choosing to focus on the good, even when faced with challenging situations or difficult people.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that they can’t control other people’s behavior, but they can control their own reactions. So instead of getting dragged down by negativity, they choose to stay positive.

They look for the silver lining in every situation, focus on solutions rather than problems, and believe in their ability to handle whatever comes their way.

A positive attitude can do wonders for your mental health, your relationships, and yes, your personal brand.

It sends a message that you’re resilient, optimistic, and capable—a person who can rise above the challenges and stay focused on what matters most.

7) They practice self-care

Above all else, emotionally intelligent people prioritize self-care. They understand that dealing with difficult people can be stressful and draining. That’s why they make sure to take care of their physical, emotional, and mental health.

Self-care can take many forms. It might mean taking a walk in nature, practicing mindfulness, pursuing a hobby, or simply taking time out to relax and recharge.

By taking care of themselves, emotionally intelligent people ensure they have the energy and resilience needed to handle challenging situations and difficult individuals.

Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make self-care a priority, not just for your own well-being, but also for your ability to deal effectively with difficult people.

The final thought: It’s all about growth

At the heart of emotional intelligence lies a commitment to personal growth and self-improvement.

A study by the American Psychological Association revealed that people with high emotional intelligence tend to have better mental health, job performance, and leadership skills.

This is largely because they have a knack for turning difficult situations into learning opportunities.

When dealing with difficult people, it’s not just about navigating the situation at hand—it’s about using the experience to learn, grow, and become a better version of yourself.

And next time you find yourself facing a difficult person, remember this: It’s not a test of your patience, but an opportunity for growth.

As you continue on your journey of personal growth and self-improvement, remember that every challenging interaction is a step forward. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.