If someone uses these 8 phrases in a conversation, they probably have below-average social skills

If someone interrupts you mid-sentence, it’s clear they lack patience. If they brag incessantly, it’s a sign of insecurity.

That’s Social Skills 101.

But let’s dive a bit deeper. The reality is, communication is a nuanced dance, one that requires more than basic moves to master. Decoding the words people use can reveal a lot about their social prowess, or lack thereof.

There are certain phrases, eight in particular, that can be a dead giveaway of below-average social skills.

We’ll get into those in a moment, but first, let me tell you this isn’t just about pointing fingers. It’s about self-awareness and growth—recognizing these signs within ourselves and striving to be better.

Stick with me as we delve into these phrases and what they might reveal about our social skill set—or lack thereof.

1) “I know, right?”

We’ve all heard this one. It pops up in conversations, often as a reflexive response.

“I know, right?” It seems harmless enough, but it can actually reveal a lot about a person’s social skills—or lack thereof.

Why is that? Well, this phrase can sometimes come off as dismissive or condescending. It’s as if the speaker is saying, “Of course I know that. Why wouldn’t I?”

But communication isn’t just about sharing facts and ideas—it’s about understanding and connecting with others on a deeper level.

A conversation is like a dance; it requires give and take, listening and responding. When someone uses “I know, right?” too often, it can feel like they’re not fully engaged in the dance. They’re not truly listening or seeking to understand, but rather just waiting for their turn to speak.

So next time you catch yourself using this phrase, pause and consider what it might say about your social skills. Are you really listening? Or are you just waiting for your turn to talk?

2) “That’s just how I am.”

I remember a friend of mine who used to say this all the time. We’d be in the middle of a discussion and if he said something offensive or out of line, he’d just shrug and say, “That’s just how I am.”

It was frustrating, to say the least.

This phrase is a red flag for one simple reason: it shows resistance to growth and change. It’s almost like a defense mechanism, shielding the speaker from any criticism or feedback.

The first time my friend used this phrase, I let it slide. But after a while, it became clear that he was using it as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for his actions or changing his behavior.

In my quest to cultivate an authentic personal brand, I realized that self-improvement is crucial. We should be open to feedback, eager to grow, willing to change—not stuck in our ways, hiding behind the phrase “That’s just how I am.”

So if you catch yourself saying this phrase, take it as a sign. It may be time to reflect on your social skills and consider whether there’s room for growth. Because trust me, there always is.

3) “Whatever.”

“Whatever.” It’s one of those phrases that has somehow become a universal symbol of indifference.

But here’s something you might not know. According to a poll conducted by Marist College, “whatever” was voted the most annoying word in America for several years running.

Why is it so irksome?

Well, “whatever” can come across as dismissive and disrespectful. It can make the other person feel as though their thoughts or feelings don’t matter to you.

In a conversation, saying “whatever” is like throwing in the towel. It signals that you’re not interested in understanding the other person’s perspective or finding common ground.

So if you find yourself using “whatever” frequently, it might be time to reconsider your choice of words. Remember, effective communication isn’t just about what you say, but also how you say it.

4) “You always…” or “You never…”

These phrases can be a fast track to conflict.

When you start a sentence with “You always…” or “You never…”, it tends to put the other person on the defensive. It feels like an attack, an accusation. It’s as though you’re saying they never do anything right or they’re always doing something wrong.

These phrases are rarely fair or accurate. After all, who among us always or never does anything?

The reality is, these phrases are often used as a way to avoid taking responsibility. Instead of saying, “I feel upset when you…”, it’s easier to blame the other person with a “You always…”

So if these phrases are a regular part of your vocabulary, it might be time for some self-reflection and growth. Remember, effective communication is about expressing our feelings and needs without blaming or attacking others.

5) “No offense, but…”

I have to confess, this is a phrase that I’ve used in the past. “No offense, but…” It feels like a get-out-of-jail-free card, allowing us to say something potentially hurtful while avoiding the backlash.

But here’s what I’ve learned. When I use “No offense, but…”, it’s usually because I’m about to say something that I know could be offensive. And that’s not okay.

This phrase doesn’t absolve us of the impact our words might have on others. If anything, it alerts them that something hurtful is coming, which can make the conversation even more uncomfortable.

Since realizing this, I’ve been working on expressing my thoughts and feelings more directly and respectfully—without resorting to “No offense, but…”

If you find yourself using this phrase, take a moment to reflect. It’s an opportunity for growth and self-improvement—one that can ultimately help us become more authentic communicators.

6) “I don’t care.”

On the surface, “I don’t care” might seem like a sign of confidence, a way of asserting one’s independence or indifference. But dig a little deeper and it often reveals something else entirely.

In many cases, “I don’t care” is actually a defense mechanism, a way of protecting oneself from potential criticism or judgment. It’s a way of saying, “I’m not invested in this, so you can’t hurt me.”

But in doing so, we put up a wall between ourselves and others. We close off the opportunity for connection and understanding.

And that’s not what effective communication is about. It’s not about protecting ourselves—it’s about opening ourselves up, sharing our thoughts and feelings, and seeking to understand others.

Now if “I don’t care” is a phrase you find yourself using often, it might be worth asking yourself why. Is it really because you don’t care? Or is it because you’re afraid to?

7) “That’s not my problem.”

This phrase can be a clear sign of a lack of empathy—a key component of social skills.

When someone says, “That’s not my problem,” it can come across as cold and unfeeling. It can make the other person feel unsupported and alone, like they’re being left to deal with a problem all by themselves.

But here’s the thing. Effective communication isn’t just about solving problems—it’s about showing empathy and understanding. It’s about making the other person feel heard and valued, even if you can’t fix their problem.

So if you catch yourself saying, “That’s not my problem,” consider how it might come across. Remember, empathy is a powerful tool for connection—one that can help us build stronger relationships and a more authentic personal brand.

8) “I don’t need your input.”

This one is a biggie. If there’s one thing to take away from this article, it’s this: never underestimate the power of input and feedback.

When someone says, “I don’t need your input,” it’s not just dismissive—it’s short-sighted. It suggests that they believe they have all the answers, that they have nothing to learn from others.

But the truth is, we all have room to grow and learn. We all have blind spots. And often, it’s the people around us who can help us see what we’re missing.

When you find yourself resisting input or feedback, take a step back. Consider what you might be missing out on. Remember, growth and learning are ongoing processes—one that requires openness to new perspectives and ideas.

Reflecting on our words

As we come to the end of this exploration, I hope you’ve been able to see that the words we choose during our conversations have a profound impact not just on others, but also on our own personal growth and self-awareness.

Sure, we all slip up from time to time and let a careless phrase slip out. But it’s not about perfection—it’s about recognizing these moments, understanding what they reveal about our social skills, and striving to do better.

Famed poet Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

This quote serves as a poignant reminder of the power our words can have.

As you move forward, take a moment to consider your own conversations. Do any of these phrases crop up often? If so, take it as an opportunity for self-improvement.

Remember, every conversation is an opportunity to connect more deeply with others and reflect your true potential.

Let’s strive to choose our words wisely—after all, they are the building blocks of our relationships and the reflections of who we truly are.