If you really want to free yourself of self-doubt and insecurity, say goodbye to these behaviors

As I took a long, hard look in the mirror one morning, I realized something—I was my own biggest critic.

The constant self-doubt and insecurity had become my worst enemies, holding me back from reaching my true potential. Does this sound familiar?

Before you start nodding in agreement, let’s get one thing straight.

It’s not about your capabilities. It’s not about your talent or lack thereof. If you find yourself stuck in this cycle of self-deprecation, it could be because certain habits are feeding this negative loop.

So if you’re asking, “How can I break free from self-doubt and insecurity?” take a moment to examine these behaviors that might be keeping you shackled.

Now, here’s the truth—freeing yourself from self-doubt and insecurity isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about aligning your authentic self with your actions, every single day.

It’s about being aware of these habits, acknowledging them, and then consciously making the effort to say goodbye.

Believe me, it’s not as daunting as it sounds. It’s just about taking that first step towards embracing your true potential.

So, are you ready to make that change? To step out of the shadows of self-doubt and insecurity and step into the light of confidence and self-assurance?

Let’s dive in.

1) Negative self-talk

We’ve all been there. That nagging voice in the back of your mind, whispering, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll never succeed.” This is negative self-talk, and it’s a habit that can be surprisingly destructive.

But here’s the good news.

Recognizing this voice for what it is—a bad habit rather than a reflection of reality—is the first step towards silencing it.

When you catch yourself indulging in negative self-talk, pause, take a deep breath, and challenge those thoughts. Are they based on facts? Or are they fueled by fear and insecurity?

Remember, your thoughts are not always an accurate representation of who you are or what you’re capable of. So next time that little voice starts whispering words of doubt, tell it, “Thanks for your input, but I choose not to listen.”

It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But with time and practice, you’ll find that this one simple change can make a world of difference in freeing yourself from self-doubt and insecurity.

2) Comparing yourself to others

I’ll be honest, I’ve been guilty of this one too. I remember scrolling through social media, looking at the seemingly perfect lives of others and feeling a pang of inadequacy. “Why can’t I be as successful as them?” I’d ask myself, fueling my own self-doubt and insecurities.

Then one day, it hit me.

I was comparing my behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. And that’s just not fair.

Each one of us is on a unique journey, with our own set of triumphs and challenges. Comparing ourselves to others only distracts us from our own path and growth.

I made a conscious decision to stop comparing and start celebrating my own progress, no matter how small.

And guess what? It was liberating!

Not only did it help alleviate my self-doubt, but it also allowed me to appreciate my own journey, with all its ups and downs.

Next time you find yourself falling into the comparison trap, remember your journey is unique and deserves to be celebrated!

3) Seeking external validation

There was a time when I thrived on approval. A compliment here, a pat on the back there—it was as though others’ opinions of me were the fuel for my self-worth. But then, I hit a roadblock.

Suddenly, the praise wasn’t there. Instead of compliments, I faced criticism. Instead of pats on the back, I felt invisible. It was as though my self-worth had been sucked out of me.

That’s when I realized—I’d been giving others the power to dictate how I felt about myself.

I decided to reclaim that power.

I began to validate myself, celebrate my own accomplishments, and learn from my failures without letting them define me. I started to value my own opinion of myself over others’.

And you know what? It wasn’t easy. But it was empowering.

Realize this: Your worth is not determined by the applause or criticism of others. It’s defined by you—your resilience, your growth, your authenticity.

So stop seeking external validation. Start acknowledging your own worth. Because at the end of the day, the only approval you truly need is your own.

4) Avoiding risks due to fear of failure

Now, this is a tough one. Fear of failure can be paralyzing, holding us back from taking risks and pursuing our dreams. It can feed our self-doubt and amplify our insecurities.

But here’s a different perspective.

Failure isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it’s often through failure that we learn the most valuable lessons.

Instead of viewing failure as a setback, see it as a stepping stone towards your goal. Embrace it as a chance to learn, to grow, and to develop resilience.

Remember, every successful person out there has failed at some point. What sets them apart is their ability to dust themselves off, learn from their mistakes, and keep moving forward.

Don’t let fear of failure hold you back. Take risks. Make mistakes. Learn. Grow. And most importantly, believe in yourself—because you are capable of so much more than you think.

5) Focusing on the past

Did you know the human brain is wired to remember negative experiences more than positive ones? This is known as negativity bias, and it can have a profound impact on our self-perception.

We tend to dwell on past mistakes, failures, and disappointments, which in turn feed our self-doubt and insecurity. But here’s the thing—we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it.

If we spend our time dwelling on the past, we rob ourselves of the ability to fully embrace the present and look forward to the future.

Instead of ruminating over past mistakes, use them as lessons. Instead of dwelling on failures, recognize them as opportunities for growth.

You are not defined by your past. You are defined by who you choose to be today and the actions you take towards becoming your best self in the future.

6) Being too hard on yourself

Life is a journey, filled with ups and downs, triumphs and trials, and everything in between. And while it’s important to strive for the best, it’s equally essential to show yourself some kindness along the way.

You see, we all make mistakes. We all have moments of self-doubt and insecurity. And that’s okay. It’s part of being human.

Instead of berating yourself for every misstep, offer yourself some compassion. Be gentle with your self-talk. Recognize your effort and appreciate your progress, no matter how small it may seem.

Because at the end of the day, you’re doing the best you can with what you know and have. And that, my friend, is worth celebrating.

Show yourself some kindness. You are deserving of it, just as much as anyone else.

7) Not believing in yourself

This point, above all others, is crucial. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re setting the stage for self-doubt and insecurity to take the lead role in your life.

Think about it. If you don’t believe you’re capable, inherently, you’ll start to question every decision, second-guess every step, and before you know it, self-doubt has taken the wheel.

But remember this—you are capable. You are worthy. And most importantly, you are enough.

So start believing in yourself. Trust in your abilities. Have faith in your journey. Because the moment you do, you’ll start to see a change.

A change in your mindset. A change in your confidence. And ultimately, a change in your life.

Believe in yourself. You’ve got this.

The final takeaway

If you’ve seen yourself in these behaviors, don’t despair. It’s an indication of self-awareness, which is the first step towards change.

And here’s the hopeful truth—you are not defined by these habits.

With conscious effort and self-compassion, you can unlearn these behaviors that fuel self-doubt and insecurity. It all starts with noticing when these habits show up in your life.

Ask yourself—does this thought or behavior empower me or diminish me? Does it align with my true self, or is it just old programming playing out?

Changing deeply ingrained habits takes time and patience. So be gentle with yourself. Celebrate each small victory, each moment you choose self-belief over self-doubt.

In the words of Carl Rogers, a renowned psychologist, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

So, embrace your journey to self-belief and self-confidence. You’re not alone on this path, and every step you take is a testament to your strength and resilience.

Trust in your journey. Trust in your capabilities. Most importantly, trust in yourself. You are more than capable of shedding self-doubt and insecurity, and the world is waiting for the confident you.